Three Legs – A Barnyard Story

Editor’s Note: This article first appeared in the September 1974 edition of the Real Estate News Observer.

Enclosed please find a little story I have written. Glen Campbell, President of The San Joaquin Valley Exchangors, died Wednesday, June 19th, of a heart attack. He was an excellent President and a good Exchangor.

The animals in Farmer John’s barnyard were all excited. It seems there had been a raffle the day before and several of the animals had been very lucky.

Bessie, the cow, was perhaps the luckiest; she had won a bale of hay and was now contentedly chewing her cud. Dobbin, the horse, had been lucky, too. He had won 3 pounds of the best quality t-bone steak available. The third winner in the barnyard was Bowser, the hound. He had been lucky enough to win 10 pounds of oats.

All of the winners were strutting around bragging about their good luck. Phineas, the pig, had not been lucky in the raffle. He wasn’t a believer in luck, but believed everyone made his own luck. Now, Phineas was a pretty smart pig. He didn’t say much, but listened a great deal. He also had keen powers of observation.

“See how lucky I was,” neighed Dobin when he walked up to Phineas. “This 3 pounds of steak is the best money can buy.”

“What are you going to do with it?” asked Phineas. Dobbin thought a moment. “Gee, I don’t really know,” mused Dobbin, “I suppose I could get Farmer John’s wife to freeze it for me.” “Well, at least you would have some frozen assets then, instead of spoiled ones,” said Phineas. “What would you say if I could exchange that steak of yours for something that would do you some good right now?” he asked.

“Gee, Phineas,” retorted Dobbin, Dobbin, “do you think you could?” “Let me ask you, Dobbin, would you give me one pound of your steak if I could exchange the rest for something that would do you more good?” grunted Phineas. Dobbin thought a bit, “What would I have to give you if you didn’t get what I wanted?” snorted Dobbin.

“Not a thing,” answered Phineas, “Just leave it to me!!”

Phineas walked off, leaving Dobbin to ponder the possibility he had mentioned. “Hi, Bowser,” Phineas called, as he spied Bowser in the cool shade under a tree. “Hi, yourself,” Bowser retorted angrily. Bowser was hungry and had just missed catching a fat rabbit for his dinner.

“I understand you were lucky in the raffle yesterday,” grunted Phineas. “If you call winning 10 pounds of oats lucky, I guess I was,” panted Bowser. “What would you say if I could trade your oats for some delicious T-bone steak?” asked Phineas. “I would say you were a real miracle worker,” answered Bowser. “If you could pull that off, I would give you three pounds of oats!” lapped Bowser as he tried to cool his thirst with some cool water.

“Agreed,” squealed Phineas. ”’Meet me at the haystack in one hour!!” Approaching Dobbin, Phineas was very excited. He just knew he had made a transaction. What could be more logical!?

“Hey, Dobbin!” grunted Phineas, “I can trade that 3 pounds of steak for 7 pounds of oats of the best quality, what do you think?”

“Great!” snorted Dobbin. “Oats are hard to get this time of year, and they will sure beat the dry grass I have been eating.”

Just then Roscow Rooster arrived on the scene. “Wait a minute,” Roscoe crowed. “Do you mean to say you would trade 3 pounds of prime T-bone worth over $6.00 for 7 pounds of oats worth just $5.00? Man, are you getting beat; you have to watch out for those exchanges,” he crowed, “Someone always gets the short end!”

Dobbin looked at Phineas expectantly, “Well?” he snorted. Phineas looked at Roscow and grunted, “Wasn’t your Daddy Cocky-Locky who told everyone that the sky was falling?”

“Hrnph,” returned Roscow, as he flew back to the hay mow where he could keep an eye on all the chicks in the barnyard.

“Dobbin,” Phineas continued, “you can always get all kinds of free advice. Already you may have waited too long as your steak is very perishable and may already be spoiled. If you could sell your steak and buy some oats, then by all means, this exchange would be foolish; but, let’s look at the real world. Who, in this barnyard, could buy your steak?”

“None of us has any money,” returned Dobbin. “And if no one will buy your steak, how can you buy oats?” asked Phineas.

“You are right,” snorted Dobbin, “all this talk about oats is making me hungry.” “Good,” squealed Phineas, “we have just time to make it to the haystack and ‘escrow’ our exchange.”
That night there were three very happy barnyard members. Bowser had filled his tummy on some of the best T-bone steaks he had ever tasted. Dobbin had enough oats to last him 3 days. And what about Phineas?

Everyone knows pigs like steak and oats, too!

This article was written in memory of Glen Campbell, of Porterville, California. Glen maintained few people in the real estate exchange business ever get the “Exchange Concept” of looking for “Benefits” instead of “Dollars.” The exchange of “steak for oats” was Glen’s prime example!

One Comment »

  1. Certainly something to chew on! Thanks, Ron Moser